I found this while scrolling through old Face Book posts. It is STILL exactly how I feel. Because I feel it defines who I am I wanted to share it to my blog...
Right now my favorite line people give me, "You look GREAT! You must be feeling so much better!" Umm... Well that's dependent on the day or the week or the hour or even the minute. NO this is not the flu that you get over in a few days or even a couple of weeks (even with treatment). This is an illness that may never go away completely. I've had this bacteria in my body for 35 years! That's a loooong time for it to get into my brain, my bones, my heart, my intestines, my thyroid, my lungs, my joints, my muscles, and anywhere else it wants to hide. And hide it does. Very well. It is the master of deception and disguise. Does this means the treatment I'm getting now is going to work? Yep! But, to get rid of the bacteria completely? Probably not. I will more then likely deal with "flares" the rest of my life. This is the reality of Chronic Lyme Disease. Do I "look" like I am sick. No. I don't. I totally understand that. But what does that have to look like in order for people to understand you have an illness that makes you spend time in bed, not be able to drive, make you cancel plans with friends, not be able to keep up with the simple things in life such as laundry, cleaning your house and getting dinner for your family? The seizures alone are enough to make most people cancel their life. Not me. I'm a stubborn stalwart idiot sometimes but I am a warrior. I'm a survivor. I will not let Lyme Disease define me as a person or take my identity. I have an infection plain and simple. But that does not mean I am the infection. So I get my body out of bed and push through the stiffness of super sore muscles and joints that don't want to move. Pain? What's that? Oh yeah. Something I've lived with so long I laugh at it and go on about my day doing as much as I can that day until my body says stop. I smile. I serve. And I love. THAT is who I am. P.S. If you're one of the sweet kind people that have said this to me don't feel bad. I understand it's said out of hope and love. Hope that I am getting better. Which I am. I am feeling better but I'm not better. I'm on the road to recovery for sure. But I am still suffering with seizures and pain (as well as other things) I also just want to give awareness to chronic illness and maybe educate what it's like to live with it. I truly do love you all... |
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Who am I??? THIS is who I am!
Monday, May 2, 2016
Broken Glass and Herxing
For this post I decided I wanted to talk about the, dreaded among the Lyme community, phenomenon called Herxheimer.
"The technical definition for a Herxheimer Reaction (i.e., herxing or die off) is the release of endotoxins from the destroyed cell walls of the bacteria responsible for Lyme Disease, Borrelia Burgdorferi, that causes an additional inflammatory response (i.e., debilitating physical and mental state) contingent to the amount of endotoxins released, which is directly correlated to the amount of Lyme bacteria killed (i.e., lysed)."
Sited from http://www.tiredoflyme.com/the-herxheimer-reaction.html
Layman's terms and what that means to me...
The evil beasts implode and release all their vile toxins (which causes a horrific worsening of all your Lyme symptoms) when they come in contact with antibiotics because the antibiotics eat away the outer shell of their bodies. My body cannot rid itself of the toxic waste as quickly as it's being produced. The more of these beasties you have the worse the herx. Apparently I have a lot of them...
Waking in the morning is the worst part of my day. Sometimes the pain in my joints is so bad that getting out of bed to step on my feet is something akin to someone walking on broken glass. Except the glass feels like shards implanted inside the tissues of my feet and joints. It can be excruciating. I tell my hubby that if the tears are rolling down my face it means it's gone beyond Hell into a whole different dimension. But seriously you have to get up to go to the bathroom... I've had times the pain is so intense I've fallen to the floor in agony and literally tried to crawl to make it to the toilet.
My hands can have that same feeling too. Even attempting to open a pill bottle creates pain that is too much to bare. Meaning I have to call my family to help me so I can start my days regiment of prescriptions, supplements, vitamins, and homeopathics. Sometimes the pain is so bad that I can't cut a pancake... Just holding the fork is agony let alone exerting pressure. Days like that I usually spend mostly in bed. It's just not worth the agony to try to allow gravity to exert it's force on my bones.
With the pain comes increased petit mal seizures (I have been known to have 18-20 seizures lasting anywhere between 10 minutes to an hour in a single day) and a headache that makes a migraine seem like child's play. Fortunately my amazing brilliant Doc does these shots he calls Neuro Therapy that help kill the nerves in my head and neck but we never seem to kill all of them... New ones crop up every time unfortunately. I call these headaches ice pic headaches. It's fitting. I can never decide if the pain is so intense it causes a petit mal seizure to happen or if it's an indication that one is about to occur. Since both ways happen it's really hard to say. More about the seizures since it's been one of my most scary main symptoms and I feel I know a lot about them in another post.
The brain fog and forgetfulness can be pretty intense during a herx too. It's weird the things I've forgotten. One day I literally couldn't remember how to look something up on the computer. My daughter had to help me step by step. Mom you need to go to Google and type in what you need to search for, now press enter, etc. That time I actually cried because I felt that my mind was going like an old lady that has Alzheimer or Dementia. Pretty scary. I've forgotten simple things like how to put your key into the ignition, can't for the life of you remember your grade school age kids' teacher's name when calling the office to excuse said child, let alone the things you misplace or put in the wrong place such as milk in the cupboard, etc...
Words can come out totally jumbled up too. It makes for the most interesting and funny conversations! Sometimes I have seizures that are stutter seizures and I literally can't say certain vowel sounds without getting stuck like a scratched record player on that vowel sound. FL~FL~FL~FL~FL~FL~FL~FL~FL over and over... So I search for alternative words that don't have that particular vowel sound, such as if I was trying to say Floor but the F sound won't come out I would have to pause and think of another word such as Ground! I always feel so successful when I can accomplish that feat so I can keep communicating. Try the S sound. Do you realize that most of our language is centered around making that sound??? If you don't believe me then try to say just 1 full sentence not using that sound... Impossible. I cried that time too cause I was so incredibly frustrated.
Overall the feeling of herxing is close to the feeling you have when you have the worst flu you've had of your life times about 100. Your skin hurts like fire to touch. Your joints hurt to move. Your bones ache. Your muscles feel like they've been torn to shreds. Your head hurts like an ice pick is being stabbed repeatedly through it. Your teeth and jaws hurt worse then any toothache you've ever experienced. Your intestines hurt so bad it feels like a constant burning pain (in fact sometimes you can literally feel a fever coming from where the pain is). Your heart beats a million miles a minute and you swear you can see it pounding out of your chest. Your muscles are so incredibly weak that you scoot up and down stairs (that is if you can even make it out of bed) and brushing your teeth is a luxury cause you can't summon the strength to hold the brush (I'm not kidding).
You can't breath both due to your lungs seizing up and not working cause of seizures (remember lungs are a muscle) and severe "air hunger". You have constant ringing in your ears and sometimes major ear pain due to having "congested ears". The fatigue is so deep it's hard to describe just how severe that feeling is. I can sleep 16-18 hours on those days. Your eyes feel like you're going blind quite literally. I see double and then one eye turns "off" and I can't see out of it so I really do go temporarily blind in that eye until the herx is over. I fear that I may someday have my sight taken in that eye. Blindness has been known to happen with Lyme Disease. Scary eh?
On these days I just endure. With my Heavenly Father's help and my Savior's they are THE only reason I haven't given up. I am in constant prayer to survive and I am answered by being held up by Angels quite literally. I have felt them. It's true! I've literally felt my Grandma Mer sitting beside me when I've had to endure a seizure by myself. It is WAY beyond any kind of Hell you can imagine. One day we (people that have Lyme) will get the recognition, compassion, and understanding we deserve. This disease will be recognized as THE most painful, debilitating disease known to mankind. I can't wait for that day. "Cancer is nothing compared to this... to treat as well as for the patients to deal with the symptoms from it. It is THE most complex disease which is why doctors don't want to and won't deal with it." Quote from 2 different doctors that treat both. And yet we don't get the help at all that cancer patients do. Some day I know this will change. Which is why I'm writing this blog. Not to gain sympathy but to give understanding. I feel it's my mission...
If you're reading my blog and you have Lyme Disease I hope I have done it justice in this too short of blog post. If I really tried to tell everything it would be so long I'm afraid people wouldn't read it. Let me know in the comments other ways you Lyme Warriors suffer. For you that don't have it....
BE GRATEFUL!
"The technical definition for a Herxheimer Reaction (i.e., herxing or die off) is the release of endotoxins from the destroyed cell walls of the bacteria responsible for Lyme Disease, Borrelia Burgdorferi, that causes an additional inflammatory response (i.e., debilitating physical and mental state) contingent to the amount of endotoxins released, which is directly correlated to the amount of Lyme bacteria killed (i.e., lysed)."
Sited from http://www.tiredoflyme.com/the-herxheimer-reaction.html
Layman's terms and what that means to me...
The evil beasts implode and release all their vile toxins (which causes a horrific worsening of all your Lyme symptoms) when they come in contact with antibiotics because the antibiotics eat away the outer shell of their bodies. My body cannot rid itself of the toxic waste as quickly as it's being produced. The more of these beasties you have the worse the herx. Apparently I have a lot of them...
Waking in the morning is the worst part of my day. Sometimes the pain in my joints is so bad that getting out of bed to step on my feet is something akin to someone walking on broken glass. Except the glass feels like shards implanted inside the tissues of my feet and joints. It can be excruciating. I tell my hubby that if the tears are rolling down my face it means it's gone beyond Hell into a whole different dimension. But seriously you have to get up to go to the bathroom... I've had times the pain is so intense I've fallen to the floor in agony and literally tried to crawl to make it to the toilet.
My hands can have that same feeling too. Even attempting to open a pill bottle creates pain that is too much to bare. Meaning I have to call my family to help me so I can start my days regiment of prescriptions, supplements, vitamins, and homeopathics. Sometimes the pain is so bad that I can't cut a pancake... Just holding the fork is agony let alone exerting pressure. Days like that I usually spend mostly in bed. It's just not worth the agony to try to allow gravity to exert it's force on my bones.
With the pain comes increased petit mal seizures (I have been known to have 18-20 seizures lasting anywhere between 10 minutes to an hour in a single day) and a headache that makes a migraine seem like child's play. Fortunately my amazing brilliant Doc does these shots he calls Neuro Therapy that help kill the nerves in my head and neck but we never seem to kill all of them... New ones crop up every time unfortunately. I call these headaches ice pic headaches. It's fitting. I can never decide if the pain is so intense it causes a petit mal seizure to happen or if it's an indication that one is about to occur. Since both ways happen it's really hard to say. More about the seizures since it's been one of my most scary main symptoms and I feel I know a lot about them in another post.
The brain fog and forgetfulness can be pretty intense during a herx too. It's weird the things I've forgotten. One day I literally couldn't remember how to look something up on the computer. My daughter had to help me step by step. Mom you need to go to Google and type in what you need to search for, now press enter, etc. That time I actually cried because I felt that my mind was going like an old lady that has Alzheimer or Dementia. Pretty scary. I've forgotten simple things like how to put your key into the ignition, can't for the life of you remember your grade school age kids' teacher's name when calling the office to excuse said child, let alone the things you misplace or put in the wrong place such as milk in the cupboard, etc...
Words can come out totally jumbled up too. It makes for the most interesting and funny conversations! Sometimes I have seizures that are stutter seizures and I literally can't say certain vowel sounds without getting stuck like a scratched record player on that vowel sound. FL~FL~FL~FL~FL~FL~FL~FL~FL over and over... So I search for alternative words that don't have that particular vowel sound, such as if I was trying to say Floor but the F sound won't come out I would have to pause and think of another word such as Ground! I always feel so successful when I can accomplish that feat so I can keep communicating. Try the S sound. Do you realize that most of our language is centered around making that sound??? If you don't believe me then try to say just 1 full sentence not using that sound... Impossible. I cried that time too cause I was so incredibly frustrated.
Overall the feeling of herxing is close to the feeling you have when you have the worst flu you've had of your life times about 100. Your skin hurts like fire to touch. Your joints hurt to move. Your bones ache. Your muscles feel like they've been torn to shreds. Your head hurts like an ice pick is being stabbed repeatedly through it. Your teeth and jaws hurt worse then any toothache you've ever experienced. Your intestines hurt so bad it feels like a constant burning pain (in fact sometimes you can literally feel a fever coming from where the pain is). Your heart beats a million miles a minute and you swear you can see it pounding out of your chest. Your muscles are so incredibly weak that you scoot up and down stairs (that is if you can even make it out of bed) and brushing your teeth is a luxury cause you can't summon the strength to hold the brush (I'm not kidding).
You can't breath both due to your lungs seizing up and not working cause of seizures (remember lungs are a muscle) and severe "air hunger". You have constant ringing in your ears and sometimes major ear pain due to having "congested ears". The fatigue is so deep it's hard to describe just how severe that feeling is. I can sleep 16-18 hours on those days. Your eyes feel like you're going blind quite literally. I see double and then one eye turns "off" and I can't see out of it so I really do go temporarily blind in that eye until the herx is over. I fear that I may someday have my sight taken in that eye. Blindness has been known to happen with Lyme Disease. Scary eh?
On these days I just endure. With my Heavenly Father's help and my Savior's they are THE only reason I haven't given up. I am in constant prayer to survive and I am answered by being held up by Angels quite literally. I have felt them. It's true! I've literally felt my Grandma Mer sitting beside me when I've had to endure a seizure by myself. It is WAY beyond any kind of Hell you can imagine. One day we (people that have Lyme) will get the recognition, compassion, and understanding we deserve. This disease will be recognized as THE most painful, debilitating disease known to mankind. I can't wait for that day. "Cancer is nothing compared to this... to treat as well as for the patients to deal with the symptoms from it. It is THE most complex disease which is why doctors don't want to and won't deal with it." Quote from 2 different doctors that treat both. And yet we don't get the help at all that cancer patients do. Some day I know this will change. Which is why I'm writing this blog. Not to gain sympathy but to give understanding. I feel it's my mission...
If you're reading my blog and you have Lyme Disease I hope I have done it justice in this too short of blog post. If I really tried to tell everything it would be so long I'm afraid people wouldn't read it. Let me know in the comments other ways you Lyme Warriors suffer. For you that don't have it....
BE GRATEFUL!
Monday, April 18, 2016
1 Year Lyme Battle Anniversary!!
So obviously I am TERRIBLE at keeping blogs updated! We'll blame it on Lyme. Seriously. This last year has been one heck of a ride, one that I'd really like to get off of if I could. But since that's not an option here I am. I've been fighting this "Monster" called Lyme Disease and it has been a battle to beat all wars. So that's my excuse and my reason I have been SO incredibly sick this last year that to put forth energy to update blogs is WAY too much to deal with. The reason for my post today is inspired by my courageous beautiful niece that got her diagnosis of Lyme. She's decided to blog her journey and I think her reasons for doing so is fantastic. I believe that people need to understand more about this beast and how horribly hard it is to live with. I want people to "get" what it literally feels like to live with and how your body feels with the World War 3 that's waging inside of it....
I just got home from my every 3 month medical sojourn to Mexico to see my kind, wonderful, brilliant, god-given doctor. There are no words to express just how grateful I am to this man and that he has come into my life. I truly love him. Every time I go to Mexico has been different with the way my body handles the treatments and this time was no different. It was pretty rough. I have "new" symptoms that have developed, severe nausea and heart palpitations. He said that means the bacteria has decided to take up residence in a different place so they've moved on to my stomach and heart. Great! Cause you know you can live so well without your heart functioning... NOT!. He's treating me with lots of stuff to heal the ulcers the Lyme has created in my tummy. The stuff is helping. But I'm still suffering. It's hard to eat much because even putting a tooth brush in my mouth is causing me to gag which then can cause throwing up seizures to happen. So much fun. ;) But don't worry I'm positive I won't get too skinny because my metabolism is in the toilet right now for whatever reason.
I received more "stuff" to do which takes all the things I have to take/do in a day up to a whole other level. I have so many prescription drugs, homeopathics, supplements and vitamins I am finding that I am REALLY struggling remembering what I have done/taken and whats left to do. I may have taken my thyroid pills and antibiotics twice this morning but I'm not sure...
I thought it might be kind of interesting to make a list of the symptoms I had that have either improved or gotten better and then list the symptoms I still have as well as any new ones that have cropped up. Side note: I'm analyzing these based on NON herxing symptoms. If I'm herxing you can better believe that ALL these symptoms return with a vengeance. More about herxing in another post.
Improved Symptoms:
Brain fog- most days this one really is a whole lot better. I can definitely still have some but I for sure have had an improvement.
Memory issues- mild improvement. I'm still struggling with this one quite a bit such as word and name recall. Which can be quite embarrassing at times especially when you can't remember names of people that you've known for years. Awkward.
Depression- Totally and complete astounding improvement on this one! I can't believe how amazing I "feel"! My serotonin and dopamine levels went from 3 to 960 in 18 months! They should be at 1500 but hey! I'm SO not complaining! Seriously if 960 feels like this what is 1500 going to feel like!?
Seizures/tremors/muscle twitches/bells palsy: I've seen an improvement in these from last summer for sure which is nice but I still suffer from them. Instead of 18 or more seizure episodes a day I have minor tremors and muscle twitches most days. I only have a more major seizing episode once or twice a week now. SO NICE!
Energy levels: Most days this has improved tremendously. I find I can do more without fatiguing (aka ending up in bed) then a year ago.
As I have started listing my symptoms I realized this could be a VERY looooong post so because of that I decided to change my tactic and find a way to simplify this for you the reader.
Here's a list of symptoms I found at http://www.lymeresearchalliance.org/signs-symptom-list.html
I thought I'd highlight the ones I've had problems with in the past or are experiencing now. The ones in pink are my symptoms. I've put an I at the end if there's been improvement, an N if it's a "new" symptom and a G if the symptom has resolved. If I didn't put anything just know that I'm still struggling with that and have seen zero improvement.
I'm not gonna lie going through this list made me realize just how sick I am. It's funny how you live with it so long that you didn't even know that some of this stuff wasn't "normal". Seriously people I've lived with it for 36 years. I thought everyone hurt like they had glass shards inside their joints and muscles. And believe it or not there are a few symptoms that weren't listed here... I won't bore you with it all though.
As you can see overall I've definitely had some improvements over the past year thanks to the care of my doc and my strictness at following everything he's advised me to do. I'm going to keep on keeping on and win this fight against this monster!
I just got home from my every 3 month medical sojourn to Mexico to see my kind, wonderful, brilliant, god-given doctor. There are no words to express just how grateful I am to this man and that he has come into my life. I truly love him. Every time I go to Mexico has been different with the way my body handles the treatments and this time was no different. It was pretty rough. I have "new" symptoms that have developed, severe nausea and heart palpitations. He said that means the bacteria has decided to take up residence in a different place so they've moved on to my stomach and heart. Great! Cause you know you can live so well without your heart functioning... NOT!. He's treating me with lots of stuff to heal the ulcers the Lyme has created in my tummy. The stuff is helping. But I'm still suffering. It's hard to eat much because even putting a tooth brush in my mouth is causing me to gag which then can cause throwing up seizures to happen. So much fun. ;) But don't worry I'm positive I won't get too skinny because my metabolism is in the toilet right now for whatever reason.
I received more "stuff" to do which takes all the things I have to take/do in a day up to a whole other level. I have so many prescription drugs, homeopathics, supplements and vitamins I am finding that I am REALLY struggling remembering what I have done/taken and whats left to do. I may have taken my thyroid pills and antibiotics twice this morning but I'm not sure...
I thought it might be kind of interesting to make a list of the symptoms I had that have either improved or gotten better and then list the symptoms I still have as well as any new ones that have cropped up. Side note: I'm analyzing these based on NON herxing symptoms. If I'm herxing you can better believe that ALL these symptoms return with a vengeance. More about herxing in another post.
Improved Symptoms:
Brain fog- most days this one really is a whole lot better. I can definitely still have some but I for sure have had an improvement.
Memory issues- mild improvement. I'm still struggling with this one quite a bit such as word and name recall. Which can be quite embarrassing at times especially when you can't remember names of people that you've known for years. Awkward.
Depression- Totally and complete astounding improvement on this one! I can't believe how amazing I "feel"! My serotonin and dopamine levels went from 3 to 960 in 18 months! They should be at 1500 but hey! I'm SO not complaining! Seriously if 960 feels like this what is 1500 going to feel like!?
Seizures/tremors/muscle twitches/bells palsy: I've seen an improvement in these from last summer for sure which is nice but I still suffer from them. Instead of 18 or more seizure episodes a day I have minor tremors and muscle twitches most days. I only have a more major seizing episode once or twice a week now. SO NICE!
Energy levels: Most days this has improved tremendously. I find I can do more without fatiguing (aka ending up in bed) then a year ago.
As I have started listing my symptoms I realized this could be a VERY looooong post so because of that I decided to change my tactic and find a way to simplify this for you the reader.
Here's a list of symptoms I found at http://www.lymeresearchalliance.org/signs-symptom-list.html
I thought I'd highlight the ones I've had problems with in the past or are experiencing now. The ones in pink are my symptoms. I've put an I at the end if there's been improvement, an N if it's a "new" symptom and a G if the symptom has resolved. If I didn't put anything just know that I'm still struggling with that and have seen zero improvement.
Head, Face, Neck:
Females:
|
Eye, Vision:
|
As you can see overall I've definitely had some improvements over the past year thanks to the care of my doc and my strictness at following everything he's advised me to do. I'm going to keep on keeping on and win this fight against this monster!
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Lyme Brain and a Warrant out for my Arrest!
I had a bit of a surprise yesterday that I wanted to share...
My hubby came home mid-afternoon which is not like him. It was a nice surprise for me. I was all smiles and talking to him as he was writing a check out. I ask him what he's doing and if he's going back to work or if he's done for the day. He responds by telling me that I have a........ are you ready for this..........Warrant out for MY arrest!!! What?! My hubby doesn't kid about stuff like this so I knew he was serious. Immediately it crosses my mind that I could very well be booked and charged and put in jail! I can just see the headlines! Yeah. A little melodrama in my head. We'll blame it on Lyme since Lyme can take so much credit for this story as you will soon find out.
My hubby came home mid-afternoon which is not like him. It was a nice surprise for me. I was all smiles and talking to him as he was writing a check out. I ask him what he's doing and if he's going back to work or if he's done for the day. He responds by telling me that I have a........ are you ready for this..........Warrant out for MY arrest!!! What?! My hubby doesn't kid about stuff like this so I knew he was serious. Immediately it crosses my mind that I could very well be booked and charged and put in jail! I can just see the headlines! Yeah. A little melodrama in my head. We'll blame it on Lyme since Lyme can take so much credit for this story as you will soon find out.
There's a back story to this I need to share so you all understand how this happened. Around a month ago I was headed home from a meeting at around 10:30. My hubby was in the back seat sleeping since he needed to get up at midnight thirty. Ugh. Poor guy. Well, my brain had been doing weird things to me, brain fog, memory problems, brain blanks... What are those you might ask? Brain blanks are where you just blank out. You're not aware of time lost or what happened during that time. Sound scary? It is. I didn't realize it at the time that I had been having those because they were for such short short periods of time. This brain blank happened and when I came out of it I saw staring me straight in the face a yellow traffic light! Argh! I had NO idea how long it had been yellow for. I had no time to stop so I pressed on the accelerator and hot rodded my way through the now red light. There was no cars around except for a single solitary car on the side of the road. Phew! I was grateful I had put nobody in danger. I look behind me and realize the single solitary car had pulled out... Oh dear! Yep! The lovely awesome not so patriotic red and blue lights start flashing! I pull over and the officer comes up to the side as I'm frantically trying to find all of the required identification and stuff they need to fulfill their sadistic power hungry... OK. OK. I know I'm going over the edge here but just wait. He comes up and I try to explain that a tissue box was caught under my foot and I was removing it and had looked down. Yeah. He wasn't buying it either. Ha ha! What was I going to say?! The truth? Are you kidding me? He was extremely rude and gruff with me in his macho "I'm going to give you a ticket you blond bimbo" kind of way. I do have to give him a little credit however because when he returned with my info and ticket in hand he was a bit nicer. I told him I normally wasn't so "stupid". He seemed to agree with me. I figured it was because he had seen my stellar clean driving record. He tells me I have 2 weeks to pay the ticket or go to court and to call some number and blah blah blah... That's all I remembered. Lyme brain! Remember?
Let's fast forward here. Two days after the red light incident I started seizuring BIG TIME. It was 10 days before seeing my Doc in Mexico and all I could do was try to get my seizing under control and tie up loose ends, pack, get girls camp organized, etc... I literally didn't think another thing about "THE TICKET" until yesterday. It's all I can think about now. I keep having these images of them checking my orifices, taking my mug shot, pressing my fingers into black ink, and then the metal bars and the sound of them closing. I feel so violated in my head.
On the bright side it's a hilarious story my kids are proud to tell their friends. I raised 'em right didn't I? And my hubby got the money off in the mail yesterday so as long as I stay out of Vernal, Utah for the next two days I should be fine. That's a relief. Side note: My ticket was 170 big smackaroos!!! So lesson to be learned here? "Don't run red lights even if it means stopping in the middle of the intersection! Because that's somehow safer then getting out of the intersection quicker." Thanks Big Macho Cop! Lesson learned. Glad to have such bright quick thinking individuals keeping us safe.
On the bright side it's a hilarious story my kids are proud to tell their friends. I raised 'em right didn't I? And my hubby got the money off in the mail yesterday so as long as I stay out of Vernal, Utah for the next two days I should be fine. That's a relief. Side note: My ticket was 170 big smackaroos!!! So lesson to be learned here? "Don't run red lights even if it means stopping in the middle of the intersection! Because that's somehow safer then getting out of the intersection quicker." Thanks Big Macho Cop! Lesson learned. Glad to have such bright quick thinking individuals keeping us safe.
Have a Lyme free night!
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Diagnosis!
Diagnosis!!!
On the fateful life changing day of October 4th, 2014 I received the news that I had Lyme Disease. This news rocked my world. I literally felt my support shake underneath me for the next few days as I tried to absorb this information. I knew that the holistic Doc that diagnosed me with this was right but it was a LOT for my brain and soul to absorb.
I have a dear friend that has suffered from chronic Lyme for years and knowing what she has experienced I felt that I wasn't strong enough to deal with it. Little did I realize I already had been dealing with it myself in many different ways for years. If it wasn't for my relationship with my Heavenly Father and my brother Jesus Christ I have NO idea how I would've made it through those first few days of shock. I used prayer to uphold me and stabilize my shaky shaky foundation so I could keep functioning.
I was advised by my holistic Doc to make an appointment with the renowned great doctor... Dr. Calzada as soon as I left. It took me another 24 hours to follow that advice. It seems I needed time to absorb what this meant for me.
I made the phone call and was told March 16th, 2015 was their next available date! WHAT!?!? You have GOT to be kidding me! 5 1/2 months to wait??? At the time this felt like being pregnant... I felt like it would NEVER get here. I was SO ready to start my journey back to health and to have to wait almost half a year was just too long. I realized the depressed state my thinking was putting me in and changed my attitude. I used prayer to help me and received inspiration that this was the right timing for me and my body. I was not to worry. Phew!
During the next 5 months my symptoms steadily increased. Within 2 weeks of finding out I had to stop exercising. Peeps I am passionate about healthy living and exercising is an integral part of that for me. I have exercised faithfully for 17 1/2 years with no longer then a 4-6 week break for surgeries or having a baby. I was a fitness instructor at my local gym for 12 years and am passionate about helping women increase their love for themselves and used my teaching to try to do this. I also taught nutrition and helped women (and men) lose weight for a brief time at the gym. I ran 5k's, a 1/2 marathon, and a full marathon before and ankle injury that wouldn't heal put me out of commission for running long distances. I still have problems with my ankle to this day.
In January I started feeling "weird" in my legs. I had an unexplainable weakness that made wearing high heels impossible and climbing stairs really tough. I figured it was the Lyme taking residence in my quads. One day I fell down the two stairs going down into my garage. I was able to catch myself on some shelving saving me from whatever. On another day I ended up coming down my long ol' flight of stairs and feeling the weak "weird" feeling in my legs I grabbed the hand rail so that I could catch myself if my weak legs gave out on me. I made it down the stairs that seemed to go on forever. Phew! I walked through my front room and the feeling steadily increased. I made it to my kitchen and.... FELL! My legs felt just like after I ran my marathon and they turned to jello. If you've ever ran a marathon you may know what I'm talking about. Well there I was sitting on my butt with my feelings hurt. I was fine but my feel bads weren't feeling good. I didn't know quite what to do so I turned to prayer which seemed to be what I did a lot of these days. I got an impression that I needed to give myself time to rest so just to stay there for awhile. Hmm... On the kitchen floor?! I thought. Yep! So I scooted my hinney up to the cupboard and sat. I checked in after forever with God to see if it was ok to get up and move. I got the answer I was looking for! Well, kinda. I was to grab my water, my phone, and whatever else I thought I might need, use the bathroom and go rest in the family room with the lights out. Weird. But OK! So that's what I did. I waited 2 1/2 hours before I got the OK to get up. I was totally fine after that.
During the 5 1/2 month wait I experienced depression, extreme fatigue, insomnia, aches and pains in my joints, new injuries (even though I was doing nothing, not even mopping my floor), brain fog, memory problems, vision disturbances, constant headaches that would frequently turn into migraines, ear ache, blood sugar issues, unexplained weight loss and gains, sensitivity to cold and change in temperatures, sensitivity to water (extreme itching after showers), major hair loss, thing brittle nails, acne, hypothyroidism, muscle twitches, heart palpitations, air huger, food allergies, IBS, Hashimoto's and asthma.
In January I started feeling "weird" in my legs. I had an unexplainable weakness that made wearing high heels impossible and climbing stairs really tough. I figured it was the Lyme taking residence in my quads. One day I fell down the two stairs going down into my garage. I was able to catch myself on some shelving saving me from whatever. On another day I ended up coming down my long ol' flight of stairs and feeling the weak "weird" feeling in my legs I grabbed the hand rail so that I could catch myself if my weak legs gave out on me. I made it down the stairs that seemed to go on forever. Phew! I walked through my front room and the feeling steadily increased. I made it to my kitchen and.... FELL! My legs felt just like after I ran my marathon and they turned to jello. If you've ever ran a marathon you may know what I'm talking about. Well there I was sitting on my butt with my feelings hurt. I was fine but my feel bads weren't feeling good. I didn't know quite what to do so I turned to prayer which seemed to be what I did a lot of these days. I got an impression that I needed to give myself time to rest so just to stay there for awhile. Hmm... On the kitchen floor?! I thought. Yep! So I scooted my hinney up to the cupboard and sat. I checked in after forever with God to see if it was ok to get up and move. I got the answer I was looking for! Well, kinda. I was to grab my water, my phone, and whatever else I thought I might need, use the bathroom and go rest in the family room with the lights out. Weird. But OK! So that's what I did. I waited 2 1/2 hours before I got the OK to get up. I was totally fine after that.
During the 5 1/2 month wait I experienced depression, extreme fatigue, insomnia, aches and pains in my joints, new injuries (even though I was doing nothing, not even mopping my floor), brain fog, memory problems, vision disturbances, constant headaches that would frequently turn into migraines, ear ache, blood sugar issues, unexplained weight loss and gains, sensitivity to cold and change in temperatures, sensitivity to water (extreme itching after showers), major hair loss, thing brittle nails, acne, hypothyroidism, muscle twitches, heart palpitations, air huger, food allergies, IBS, Hashimoto's and asthma.
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